No, not bats in the belfry: there is, in fact, a bat in my bedroom.  I was watching TV, minding my own business, when he swooped down over my head. Those little guys are really quiet!

Anyway, I followed him through the house and finally trapped him in the bedroom.  I’m now awaiting animal control to take him to a new home. We’ve had a problem with bats in the area, and with the possibility of rabies, I decided to leave it to the pros.

Fortunately he made his appearance just before I took my nighttime cold medicine, or he could be doing a tapdance on my forehead right now without my knowledge. And doesn’t it figure that we just bought a brand new comforter? If he craps on it and I have anything to do with it, he’ll soon be an ex-bat.

(45 minutes later…)

OK, animal control came, which consisted of a female police officer, no more than five feet tall, armed with…

A coffee can.  Friggin gloves and a coffee can.

I could not feel more emasculated right now.

So she tries several times to trap him in the can and he keeps flipping out, not settling on any surface long enough for her to trap him.  He’s what she called an “aggressive bat,” which would explain why he was dive-bombing me in the living room.

After about half an hour of trying to catch him in the Folgers can, she opts for more aggressive tactics herself.  With the door closed, all I can hear is a couple of thuds, some very high-pitched squealing, a crack against the window, some grunts and, finally, the blessed lid on the coffee can.

The officer comes out in nothing but her T-shirt and pants, having removed her uniform shirt to swat the bat out of the air. She usually carries a net, she explains, but she made this call in her own personal car. The crashing sound was her pager flying off her shirt and into the window.

In the end, the bat was detained for questioning. Although I’m told he won’t undergo interrogation at Guantanamo, he will be euthanized for rabies testing at the health department.  No news is good news, but if tests are positive, it’s rabies shots for everyone, myself, my toddler, and all of the animals included!

I think I’ll go take that cold medicine now.

Christian

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